"Luke, I am your spoiler"

I worry about odd things.

I worry, for example, about how my kids will experience Star Wars. When I was little enough to not know what it was, things were much simpler. There were only three movies, and they were all very good. Also, there was really only one twist, and it wasn’t completely ruined by the three awful movies that went chronologically before them.

I dislike spoilers. My parents, using the “social ostricization” technique, did a fairly good job of keeping me from finding out important spoilers before I got the chance to see various movies. As a result, I’d like my kids to have a similarly cool experience three quarters of the way through The Empire Strikes Back.

This means I have to pick the right age to show them the movies. I want them to be mature enough. I don’t want one of the greatest moments in film history to sail right over their head. But at the same time, I really don’t want them to walk into a room and have this conversation:

Kid 1: Hey, have you seen Star Wars?

My Kid: No, what is it?

Kid 1: It’s awesome. Man, I can’t believe that Darth Vader __ ___‘s _____!

My Kid: Nooooooooooooooooo! It’s not possible!

These kinds of conversations ruin lives. But the fact that I worry about this is probably not a good omen, either.