The firewood store

In about half an hour the people who insure this apartment building will be canvasing the different rooms, making sure that things are in order and there aren’t any huge disasters waiting to happen. I have to admit, any time someone shows up expressly to check that something isn’t there, it’s very tempting to screw with them.

And besides, how easy would it be? One guy makes a living by identifying things that can go boom in the night, and our manager can get into heaps of trouble if he finds any. I thought about just having a fuse lying in the kitchen, (ok, so some string, but it would be burnt at the end) and leading all over the apartment. I’d probably have it end in a piece of cheese or something, because that would amuse me.

My roommate suggested:

You should put paper all over the floor, “it’s for our firewood store."
"why would you be selling firewood?"
"do you see any firewood in here?"
"no"
"EXACTLY"
"would you like to place an order that we can fill in our next shipment?”

But I’m thinking I might just put up a disco ball in the living room, to distract them from the massive electrical fire waiting to happen behind our couch (look! surge protectors!).