What have I got in my pocketses?

Now that I’m home again and, more importantly, no longer going to spending all day walking around a college campus in shady areas of LA, I’ve decided to re-arrange the contents of my pockets so that I can seem cooler than I actually am.

I’ve been paying careful attention to what cool people have in their pockets, and I’m going to emulate it. Number one on the list is some kind of money clip. Cool people always carry money outside of their wallets. I don’t know why, but my guess is so that if they get robbed, they can decide whether they’d rather lose their cash or their cards.

I’m also going to have to start carrying a pocket knife around with me. I’ve got a really sweet one that used to belong to my grandfather, so I’m going to try to keep that one with me (and not lose it). Cool people carry knives so that they can re-create scenes from Crocodile Dundee.

I’m also going to keep carrying my wallet and my cell phone, which means my pockets are getting pretty busy. In an ideal world I’d have only one item per pocket. But that wouldn’t be cool enough.