I can't believe I'm playing by the rules

I’ve never been a big fan of following rules that strike me as silly. I got into plenty of trouble in college because I spent almost as much time arguing with my professors about why their formatting rules were bogus as I did actually, you know, doing the work.

But that’s just how I’m wired. Which is why I’m actually pretty surprised that in pursuit of one of the items on my 101 list (number 4: publish a short story), I actually wrote, printed out, and mailed my story in to Analog science fiction and fact---complete with a totally pointless self-addressed & stamped envelope.

I know, however, that the only kind of news I’m going to get in that SASE is bad news. Honestly, I included both my phone number and my e-mail on the story’s cover page, and if you’re an editor who wants to publish my story, there’s no way that you’re going to write me a letter about it.

Hi Jason,

Thanks for your short story submission. I think it’s great! I would love to publish it for our industry standard rate of [practically nothing] per word.

Please write me back at your earliest convenience,

Sincerely,
Editor

No, if you want my story you’re probably going to pick up the phone and give me a call. Or maybe you’d e-mail me. So I can only assume that the SASE is part of the submission guidelines to add some extra friction to the process and make sure that the people doing the submitting actually mean business about their work.

Which is why I’m playing by the rules. I mean business, people. I’ll be expecting that phone call…